I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
