I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
