I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
