Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
