and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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