The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
