I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You took a bar mat shot.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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