Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
