The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
