His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
