Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
