So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
