if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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