still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
