He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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