Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize