best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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