But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
