I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
