He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
