she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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