So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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