I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
