And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
