I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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