i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
