oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
