You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
