so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
