you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
