the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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