Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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