I feel like I'm in dance class right now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize