Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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