onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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