You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
