I understand Curling. That high.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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