i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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