i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
