Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
