i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
