More tranny stories later!
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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