me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
He has the fingertips of a God
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
