Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize