we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
