Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
