jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
