...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
