I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Randomize