Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
