when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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