Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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