I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
