Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
