Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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