You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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