Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(443): View more from Maryland

She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.

Fav 14 3005 1104
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(856): View more from New Jersey

Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning

Fav 6 2394 1276
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(510): View more from California

You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink

Fav 3 3096 1045
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(989): View more from Michigan

I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.

Fav 14 5361 1330
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(209): View more from California

I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside

Fav 3 2159 1194
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

Fav 5 1954 978
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(912): View more from Georgia

He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.

Fav 0 136 139
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(505): View more from New Mexico

She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."

Fav 0 80 5
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