remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
tell me about the fingering
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