I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
