We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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