1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
no, he came in my armpit
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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