nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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