i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
