I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I will be naked everywhere
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
