'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
