bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
