i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
